It has been a productive and interesting day. I had a great practice of Tchaikovsky Trio, had started to learn the 2nd Schumann Piano Trio, and had most of my private students' schedule sorted out for fall 2006.
Tchaikovsky Trio is always going to be physically challenging for me no matter how many times I had performed it. Having hands that can only play octaves, his piano trio part brings quite a strain to my hands. I love the variation-movement, the varieties of mood expression are so cleverly layed out that if the timings between each variations are measured well, the whole movement goes through like one act of a ballet or an opera.
Schumann's harmonic writing is so intriguing. each harmony brings you along with his journey of moods and expressions. I hope I can manage to bring listeners along to this journey.
It is tough to speak to someone you don't like. However, it is harder to speak to someone you don't like, and having to pretend that you actually like the person. You might ask, why do you need to do that, just be truthful to yourself. Well, no, it is not as simple. You have to consider your environment, your long term plan, your dream, your priority, your principle and many other factors. For me to express how I really feel about one person might make me feel great at the time, but it might do damage to my long term plan, or those connected to me. I know for sure, as long as I don't hurt anyone, as long as I don't bring pain or suffering to anyone, as long as I can be firm on my principles, I can have and use different strategies in my life. As I get older, I realize one cannot be selfish, because a selfish act will come back to hunt you.
This fall semester is going to be a challenging one. The schedule looks like this: two weeks tour in Taiwan, 14 trio concerts, 2 days of college teaching per week, 2 days of private teaching per week, learning new repertoire, rehearsing, continuing reading and improving my English skills, getting myself in shape, eat healthy, and many more. Can I keep myself sane while doing all these? Peter has total of 20 hours plus private teaching each week in addition to his performing & orchestra schedule. I hope he will be able to maintain his sanity, and be healthy and happy while doing all the work. We are in our 30s, and yes, it is time to work hard, However, we should be careful how we distribute our time also. Human body cannot run 24/7 without a break. Human brain cannot function 24/7 with breaks either. Let this semester be a good learning experience for both Peter and me for time management. We should work hard, stay healthy, and still enjoy life!
By the way, my trio's Karl Goldmark Piano Trios CD received a review from George Chien, Fanfare Magazine, to read the review, go to http://www.arkivmusic.com/classical/album.jsp;jsessionid=5FAD97768A88545AF2EC81356FB6FA7E?album_id=91529 .
Monday, August 29, 2005
Sunday, August 28, 2005
A Nasty Saleswoman
There are so many different kinds of people in this world. Today I encountered a very unkind, nasty, mean, obnoxious woman. This happened at Macy's 2nd. Floor, Bridal section in Tyson's Corner II. I have been looking to purchase a concert dress lately, and today was going to be my last try no matter whether I found one or not. My husband and me wondered into this Bridal section, and saw a selection of dresses on sales. They are mostly samples. For me, as long as it looks fine, and I can play the piano in it, it is considered a good dress. So, I started going through them. After picking about 3 or 4 of them to try on, this lady (in her 50s maybe) approached us asking why I was looking for the dresses, and how soon I will need them... Before I could even answer those questions, she went on to say that, their sizes were smaller than usual, and she suggested that I probably would not be able to fit in them. She also said, that if I did find one that I could fit in, it would take more than 2 months to order it, although, if I wanted to buy it from here (meaning the discount section), it is ok too. While she was speaking to us, she was also giving us the most condescending look, and as soon as she finished, she walked away. My husband and me both were in shock. First of all, we did not ask for any one to help. Secondly, if you are going to help, do so. I have never heard of a salesperson telling a customer that he or she cannot fit into these clothes, and to go look for them elsewhere. I was so angry that even though I held in my hand at least 3 possibilities, I was not about to spend my hard earned money here. My husband took a quick look at me, and without having to speak to me, put the dresses back on the rack, took my hand and walked away. Maybe it was because both my husband and I were wearing jeans? Maybe it was because we didn't look like we could afford a dress? Maybe it was because I am a bit overweight?! (so?!) Maybe it is because I was not going to order 3, 4 or 5 dresses for my bridesmaids since I am married already? Maybe it was because she just didn't want to sell anything to me because I am Asian (it is not like she was born an American, she still has a thick accent)? None of these made any sense. If any of the above would cause her to speak to us and hint us to leave the place, then she should not be a saleswoman. Later of course I found my dress at Lord and Taylor. A bit pricey, but useful, comfortable and elegant. I promise that I will never set my foot in Macy's again. I will make sure I tell my family and friends about this. If a sales person at a big department store is allowed to treat a potential customer like that, then there is something wrong with their management.
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Pedants and partisans
This is an article forwarded from a friend.
Pedants and partisans
- Author: Terry Eagleton
Publication: The Guardian
Date: February 22, 2003
Terry Eagleton argues that fundamentalism is characterised by a dangerous reverence for words http://books.guardian.co.uk/review/story/0,12084,899641,00.html
There are two things desirable for fighting fundamentalists. The first is not to be one yourself. The US government's war on the movement is somewhat compromised by the fact that it is run by scripture-spouting fanatics for whom the sanctity of human life ends at the moment of birth. This is rather like using the British National party to run ex-Nazis to earth, or hiring Henry Kissinger to investigate mass murder, as George Bush recently did by nominating him to inquire into the background to September 11. Fundamentalists of the Texan stripe are not best placed to hunt down the Taliban variety.
The second desirable thing is to know what fundamentalism is. The answer to this is less obvious than it might seem. Fundamentalism doesn't just mean people with fundamental beliefs, since that covers everyone. Being a person means being constituted by certain basic convictions, even if they are largely unconscious. What you are, in the end, is what you cannot walk away from. These convictions do not need to be burning or eye-catching or even true; they just have to go all the way down, like believing that Caracas is in Venezuela or that torturing babies is wrong. They are the kind of beliefs that choose us more than we choose them. Sceptics who doubt you can know anything for sure have at least one fundamental conviction. "Fundamental" doesn't necessarily mean "worth dying for". You may be passionately convinced that the quality of life in San Francisco is superior to that in Strabane, but reluctant to go to the gallows for it.
Fundamentalists are not always the type who seize you by the throat with one fist while thumping the table with the other. There are plenty of soft-spoken, self-effacing examples of the species. It isn't a question of style. Nor is the opposite of fundamentalism lukewarmness, or the tiresome liberal prejudice that the truth always lies somewhere in the middle. Tolerance and partisanship are not incompatible. Anti-fundamentalists are not people without passionate beliefs; they are people who number among their passionate beliefs the conviction that you have as much right to your opinion as they have. And for this, some of them are certainly prepared to die. The historian AJP Taylor was once asked at an interview for an Oxford fellowship whether it was true that he held extreme political beliefs, to which he replied that it was, but that he held them moderately. He may have been hinting that he was a secret sceptic, but he probably just meant that he did not agree with forcing his beliefs on others.
The word "fundamentalism" was first used in the early years of the last century by anti-liberal US Christians, who singled out seven supposed fundamentals of their faith. The word, then, is not one of those derogatory terms that only other people use about you, like "fatso". It began life as a proud self-description. The first of the seven fundamentals was a belief in the literal truth of the Bible; and this is probably the best definition of fundamentalism there is. It is basically a textual affair. Fundamentalists are those who believe that our linguistic currency is trustworthy only if it is backed by the gold standard of the Word of Words. They see God as copperfastening human meaning. Fundamentalism means sticking strictly to the script, which in turn means being deeply fearful of the improvised, ambiguous or indeterminate.
Fundamentalists, however, fail to realise that the phrase "sacred text" is self-contradictory. Since writing is meaning that can be handled by anybody, any time, it is always profane and promiscuous. Meaning that has been written down is bound to be unhygienic. Words that could only ever mean one thing would not be words. Fundamentalism is the paranoid condition of those who do not see that roughness is not a defect of human existence, but what makes it work. For them, it is as though we have to measure Everest down to the last millimetre if we are not to be completely stumped about how high it is. It is not surprising that fundamentalism abhors sexuality and the body, since in one sense all flesh is rough, and all sex is rough trade.
The New Testament author known as Luke is presumably aware that Jesus was actually born in Galilee. But he needs to have him born in Judea, since the Messiah is to spring from the Judea-based house of David. A Messiah born in bumpkinish Galilee would be like one born in Gary, Indiana. So Luke coolly invents a Roman census, for which there is no independent evidence, which requires everyone to return to their place of birth to be registered. Since Jesus's father Joseph comes from Bethlehem in Judea, he and his wife Mary obediently trudge off to the town, where Jesus is conveniently born.
It would be hard to think up a more ludicrous way of registering the population of the entire Roman empire than having them all return to their birthplaces. Why not just register them on the spot? The result of such a madcap scheme would have been total chaos. The traffic jams would have made Ken Livingstone's job look positively cushy. And we would almost certainly have heard about this international gridlocking from rather more disinterested witnesses than Luke. Yet fundamentalists must take Luke at his word.
Fundamentalists are really necrophiliacs, in love with a dead letter. The letter of the sacred text must be rigidly embalmed if it is to imbue life with the certitude and finality of death. Matthew's gospel, in a moment of carelessness, presents Jesus as riding into Jerusalem on both a colt and an ass - in which case, for the fundamentalist, the Son of God must indeed have had one leg thrown over each.
The fundamentalist is a more diseased version of the argument-from- the-floodgates type of conservative. Once you allow one motorist to throw up out of the car window without imposing a lengthy prison sentence, then before you know where you are, every motorist will be throwing up out of the window all the time, and the roads will become impassable. It is this kind of pathological anxiety, pressed to an extreme, which drove the religious police in Mecca early last year to send fleeing schoolgirls back into their burning school because they were not wearing their robes and head dresses, and which inspires family-loving US pro-lifers eager to incinerate Iraq to gun down doctors who terminate pregnancies. To read the world literally is a kind of insanity.
Friday, August 26, 2005
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Something to think about
A friend forwarded these to me.
For those who can read Chinese.
謹以此文獻給流浪在外的子女們
遊蕩了這麼多年，從東到西，又從北到南，一年又一年，我在長大，知識在增加，世界在變小，家鄉的母親在變老。
二 十一年前母親把我送上了火車，從那以後，我一刻也沒有停止探索這個世界，二十年裡，從北京到上海，從廣州到香港，從紐約到華盛頓，從南美到南非，從倫敦 到雪梨，我遊蕩過五十多個國家，在十幾個城市生活和工作過。每到一個地方，從裡到外，就得改變自己以適應新的環境，而唯一不變的是心中對母親的思念。IP 電話
卡出現後，我才有能力常常從國外給母親打電話，電話中母親興奮不已的聲音總能讓我更加輕鬆地面對生活中的艱難和挑戰。然而也有讓我不安的地 方，那就是我感 覺到母親的聲音一次比一次蒼老。過去兩年裡，母親每次電話中總是反覆叮囑：好好再外面生活，不要擔心我，一定要照顧好自己，不要想著回來，回來很花錢，又 對你的工作和事業不好，不要想著我…說得越來越囉嗦，囉嗦得讓我心疼，我知道，母親想我了。
母親今年七十五歲。
我毅然決 定放下手頭的一切工作，擱下心裡的一切計劃，扣下腦袋裡的一切想法，回國回家去陪伴母親一個月。這一個月裡，什麼也不幹，什麼也不想，只是陪伴母 親。從我打電話告訴母親的那一天開始到我回到家，有兩個月零八天，後來我知道，母親放下電話後，就拿出一個小本本，然後給自己擬定了一個計劃，她要為我回 家做準備。那兩個月裡母親把我喜歡吃的菜都準備好，把我小時候喜歡蓋\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\的被子「筒」好，還要為我準備在家裡穿的衣服…這一切對於一個行動不方便的，患有輕微老年癡呆症的75歲的母親來說是多麼的不容易，你肯定無法體會。直到我回去的前一天，母親才自豪地告訴鄰居：總算準備好了。
我 回到了家。在飛機上，我很想見到母親的時候擁抱她一下，但見面後我並沒有這樣做。母親站在那裡，像一隻風乾的劈柴，臉上的皺紋讓我怎麼也想不起以前母親 的樣子。母親花了整個整個的小時準備菜，她準備的都是我以前最喜歡的。但是我知道，我早就不再喜歡我以前喜歡的菜。而且母親由於眼睛看不清，味覺的變化， 做的菜都是鹹一碗，淡一碗的。母親為我準備的被子是新棉花墊的，厚厚的像席夢思，我一點也不習慣，我早就用空調被子和羊毛被了。但我都沒有說出來。我是回 來陪伴母親的。
開始兩天母親忙找張羅來張羅去，沒有時間坐下來，後來有時間坐下來了，母親就開始囉嗦了。母親開始給我講人生的大道理，只 是這些大道理是幾十年前母親反覆 講過的。後來母親還講，而且開始對照這些道理來檢討我的生活和工作。於是我開始耐心地告訴媽媽，那些道理過時了。於是母親就會癡呆呆地坐在那裡。
情 況變得越來越糟糕。我發現母親由於身體特別是眼睛不好，做飯時不講衛生，飯菜裡經常混進蟲子蒼蠅，飯菜掉在灶台上，她又會撿進碗裡，於是我婉轉地告訴母 親，我們到外面吃一點。母親馬上告訴我，外面吃不乾淨，假東西多。我又告訴母親，想為她請一個保姆，母親生氣地一拐一拐在房間裡辟啪辟啪地走，說她自己還 可以去給人家當保姆。我無話可說。我要去逛街，母親一定要去，結果我們一個上午都沒有走到商場。
每當我們討論一些事情的時候，母親總以為 兒子已經誤入歧途，而我也開始不客氣地告訴母親，時代進步了，不要再用老眼光看東西。和母親在一起的下半個月，我 越來越多地打斷母親的話，越來越多的感到不耐煩，但我們從來沒有爭吵，因為每當我提高聲音或者打斷母親的話，她都一下子停下來，沉默不語，眼睛裡有迷茫 ——母親的老年癡呆症越來越嚴重了。
我要走前，母親從床底下吃力地拉出一個小紙箱，打開來，取出厚厚的一疊剪報。原來我出國後，母親開始 關心國外的事情，為此他還專門訂了份《參考消息》，每 當她看到國外發生的一些排華辱華事件，又或者出現嚴重的治安問題，她就會小心地把它們剪下來，放好。她要等我回來，一起交給我。她常常說，出門在外，要小 心。幾天前鄰居告訴我，母親在家看一曲日本人欺負中國華人的電視劇，在家哭了起來，第二天到處打聽怎麼樣子才能帶消息到日本。那時我正在日本講學。
母 親吃力地把那捆剪報搬出來，好像寶貝一樣交到我手裡，沉甸甸的，我為難了，我不可能帶這些走，何況這些也沒有什麼用處，可是母親剪這些資料下來的艱難也 只有我知道，母親看報必須使用放大鏡，她一天可以看完兩個版面就不錯了，要剪這麼大一捆資料，可想而知。我正在為難，這時那一捆剪報裡飄落下一片紙片。我 想去撿起來，沒有想到，母親竟然先撿了起來。只是她並沒有放進我手裡的這捆剪報裡，而是小心地收進了自己的口袋。「媽媽，那一張剪報是什麼？給我看一 下。」我問。母親猶豫了一下，把那張小剪報放在那一疊剪報上面，轉身到廚房準備晚餐\\\。我拿起小剪報，發現是一篇小文章，題目是「當我老了」，旁邊的日期是《參考消息》2004年12月6日（正是我開始越來越多打斷母親的話，對母親不耐煩的時候）。
文章擇選自墨西哥《數字家庭》十一月號。我一口氣讀完這篇短文─
當我老了：
當我老了，不再是原來的我。請理解我，對我有一點耐心。
當我把菜湯灑到自己的衣服上時，當我忘記怎樣繫鞋帶時，請想一想當初我是如何手把手地教你。
當我一遍又一遍地重複你早已聽膩的話語，請耐心地聽我說，不要打斷我。你小的時候，我不得不重複那個講過千百遍的故事，直到你進入夢鄉。
當我需要你幫我洗澡時，請不要責備我。還記得小時候我千方百計哄你洗澡的情形嗎？
當我對新科技和新事物不知所措時，請不要嘲笑我。想一想當初我怎樣耐心地回答你的每一個「為什麼」。
當我由於雙腿疲勞而無法行走時，請伸出你年輕有力的手攙扶我。就像你小時候學習走路時，我扶你那樣。
當我忽然忘記我們談話的主題，請給我一些時間讓我回想。其實對我來說，談論什麼並不重要，只要你能在一旁聽我說，我就很滿足。
當你看著老去的我，請不要悲傷。理解我，支持我，就像你剛才開始學習如何生活時我對你那樣。當初我引導你走上人生路，如今請陪伴我走完最後的路。給我你的愛和耐心，我會抱以感激的微笑，這微笑中凝結著我對你無限的愛。
一口氣讀完，我差一點忍不住流下眼淚\\\，這時母親走出來，我假裝什麼也沒有發生，母親原本是要我帶走後回到海外自己再看到這片剪報的。我隨手把那篇文章放在這一捆剪報裡。然後把我的箱子打開，我留下了一套昂貴的西裝，才把剪報塞進去。
我看到母親特別高興，彷彿那些剪報是護身符，又彷彿我接受了母親的剪報，就又變成了一個好孩子。母親一直把我送上出租車。
那捆剪報真的沒有什麼用處，但那篇「當我老了」的小紙片從此以後會伴隨我…
現在這張小紙片就在我的書桌前，我把它鑲在了鏡框裡。現在我把這文章打印出來，與像我一樣的海外遊子共享。
在新的一年將要到來的時候，給母親打個電話，告訴她你一直想吃她老人家做的小菜…
2004年12月28日
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《天下雜誌》出版這本心靈小品，希望能在這個炎炎夏日裡，為你吹入一抹心靈涼風。
◎小時鐘
與陌生人初次見面時，沒有生疏尷尬的氣氛，反而有一份喜悅。那是在有三十六億人口的地球上，能與其中一人見面的原因。不能不感謝彼此相見的這份因緣。雖然活在相同的天空、相同的語言和風俗習慣下，你我的擦肩而過，是人世間的生態。
即使是不利於我的人，如果不是有相當的緣分，在浩瀚眾多的人群當中，怎麼會和這個人碰在一起呢？借用佛教的說法，那是幾世修來的因緣。人和物的情形也如同這種關係。在許多物品當中，有一個東西「來」成為我的。
在我伏案寫作的桌上，有個生活上甚為依賴、但身分不明的小時鐘。看著這小鐘愈發讓人覺得人和物之間的關係，真是奇妙得不可思議。在我眼中，它不是單純的物品而已。
那是去年秋天，凌晨禮佛時發生的事。在法堂禮佛結束後，經過板殿，我漫步約一個小時後回到住處，發現房門開著，小偷來過。平常沒有鎖門習慣的我，讓他毫不費力輕易登門入室。一看，拿走了日常生活的東西，看來我需要的，他也需要。
儘 管如此，留下的還是比他拿走的多。我忽然感到慚愧，自己有的比別人貪婪動念拿走的還多。世上所有的物品，都不是我們生下時帶來的，只是因緣際會留在人身 邊。有一天當它不見了，是因為因緣圓滿而離開，能夠這樣想的話，就不會對失去的東西感到惋惜。而且說不定那是前生我曾偷過別人東西的因果報應，現在別人拿 走了，給我償還贖罪，反而讓人有如釋負重之感。
想知道到底有什麼東西不見，我仔細的清理了房間。對於已掉的東西不再眷戀，把散落的衣物一一放回原位，不禁對人間紅塵事，別有一番滋味在心頭。
不 見的東西中比較迫切需要的是桌上的小鐘。偷兒來過後幾天，我外出買鐘。心中打定了主意，這次只要買一個最普通的便宜二手貨。來到清溪川一家鐘錶店。進去 一看，呵！呵！哈哈哈……！哎呀！這到底是怎麼一回事？幾天前遺失的小鐘，正安然地出現在眼前等著我。而且是一男子與主人正在討價還價的物品。男子一看到 我忽然低頭迴避，難掩驚惶失措的眼神，不下於他的慌張，我也緊張了一下。
最後我用一千元向那男子買回了我的小時鐘。我不是甚麼慈悲家，談不上寬恕別人。說穿了，我們不都是與舊物共同生活、處境相同的人嗎？感謝與時鐘意外失而復得的這段因緣，同時也只有自己才能扭轉自己的心。
對別人完全慈悲的寬恕，還不如說是收回將動搖迷失的自己。
◎靈魂的母音─給小王子的一封信
小 王子！你的朋友聖修伯理是這樣說的，「大人只愛數字。他們對新認識的朋友，從來不提最重要的實質性問題。他們從來不問，『他說話的聲音如何？最喜歡什麼 樣的遊戲？是否收集蝴蝶標本呢？』他們只問，『他多大年紀呀？兄弟有幾個呀？體重多少呀？他父親賺多少錢呀？』，然後以為這樣才算了解朋友。
如果你對大人們說，『我看到一棟用紅色磚瓦蓋成的漂亮房子，它的窗戶邊開著天竺葵，屋頂上還有鴿子……。』他怎麼樣也想像不出這種房子有多麼好。你必須跟他們說，『我看見一棟價值十萬法郎的房子。』那麼他們就會驚訝地叫道，『多麼不得了的房子！』」
現 在我們的處境也是陷在數字的遊戲當中。人們只關心經過兩次選舉頻頻上升的物價，出口量比預估下落，國民所得如何如何等等的數字上。彷彿從數字上顯現的愈 多，表示人們的生活過得愈好，因此讓治理國家的官員，全副精神只投注在數字上面。當數字上升時，神氣得不得了；數字下跌時，就任意發脾氣。從不去關心自己 生命的靈魂還剩下多少，生活在被數字處處擺布的日子裡。
問題在於，因這看得見的數字把戲，會讓隱藏在人內心看不見的部份逐漸萎縮乾枯。雖 然你可拿這樣的比喻說，同樣是喝水，牛喝下去出來的是牛奶，蛇喝下去最後 出來的卻是毒液，但根本還是來自操縱數字當事者人性的本質問題。老是要看數字的大人，即使在離開人間大地後，到處飄浮閃閃，也還不能覺悟那事實的真相。
小王子！你說過那種人不就是朵蘑菇吧？
「他從來沒有聞過一朵花，從來沒有看過一顆星星。他什麼人也沒有喜歡過。除了加減算帳以外，他什麼事也沒做過。他整天老是同你說，『我有正經事，我是個善良的人。』這使他驕傲得很。他簡直不像是個人，他是個蘑菇。」
對！ 如同你從狐狸那兒得到的祕密，最重要的東西用眼睛是看不到的。想要看清楚就要用心去看。事實上，我們用眼睛只能看到冰山一角，只有用心去感受才能看到 更寬闊、更廣大的世界。但是大人是這樣的嗎？單憑出現在眼前的，才算看到。他們是睜眼瞎子。對於現代人來說，努力去看那肉眼看不到的世界的智慧，是不中用 的話。
◎無所有
「我是貧窮的托缽僧。我有的是紡織車、教養院的飯缽、羊奶罐、六條老舊的毯子、毛巾及再普通不過的板凳，就這些而已。」
這是甘地一九三一年九月，前往在倫敦舉行的第二屆圓桌會議途中，對馬賽海關申報攜帶物品時所說的話。讀到《甘地語錄》中的這句話時，我感到非常慚愧。那是為自己擁有太多東西而感到慚愧。至少以我目前的本分，確是那樣。
事實上，當人來到這世上時，什麼東西也沒帶來，活到名字消失、離開人世時，也是空手離開。在活著的過程中，我們有了許多所謂生活上的必需品。不過這些都是一定需要的物品嗎？仔細想一想，不一定要的東西還真不少。
我們雖因需要而擁有物品，但有時也因那些東西帶來不少牽掛。所以擁有什麼，相對的就會為它所束縛。原來因為需要而擁有的，到後來主客顛倒，反而因此失去自由。或許，因為比別人擁有更多而炫耀，但炫耀多少，同時也得承受多少束縛折磨。
到 去年夏天之前，我非常用心和費心地養了兩盆蘭花。三年前遷移到茶來軒時，一位法師送來蘭花，成為房間內除了我以外的生命體。為了照顧這同居的小傢伙，我 特地買了養蘭的書來看，為了它的健康，除了給它好的肥料，夏天還移到涼快沒有日曬的地方，冬天則把房間內的暖氣調降到低溫。
如果把這樣的心思用在照料父母，恐怕早就成為孝子。像這樣百般地關愛它，也是有些回報。早春時，淡雅的花香，含苞待放淺色的花朵，清新如上弦月的葉片，讓人期待，也獲得茶來軒客人的讚賞喜愛。
直到去年夏天的某一天，我因要去奉先寺拜訪耘虛和尚，外出途中，原來籠罩在雨季中陰沉的天空，突然露出晴朗的陽光，樹林里流竄出的蟬鳴聲，此起彼落地與溪谷潺潺的流水聲唱和著。啊呀！想起蘭花不放在外面的庭院嗎？此時忽然怪起眼前久未露面的難得燦爛陽光。
一想到蘭花可能會被熾熱陽光曬到萎縮的光景，顧不得一切，慌慌張張地折回了住處，果不出所料，蘭花已經奄奄一息。心中有說不出的惋惜，趕快給它澆水，不久總算恢復原狀，不過，似乎沒有了原有的元氣。
那時，我才深切領悟到執著的難受。沒錯，我對蘭花太執念了。為了養蘭，不但無法外出行腳，有事外出時還得記得把窗門打開，讓空氣流通切換，因為花盆擺在外面，也不只跑回家兩、三次，這一切真是過度的執著。我決定趕快放下這執著。
幾天以後，我把它送給一位如蘭花般沉靜的訪友。我終於脫離了束縛，雖說有三年共處的情感，但是如釋重負的解脫勝過心中的不捨與失落。真是愉快的解脫！
或許是透過蘭花讓我領悟到無所有的意義，從那天起，我決定實踐每天捨棄一樣東西。
人類的歷史彷彿就像一部所有史。為了讓自己擁有更多而不停地戰鬥。佔有的慾望是永無止盡、永無休止的，哪怕是多一件就好的心理，也會讓這種佔有不斷充斥腦海。不僅不能滿足對物品的佔有，連人也要佔為己有。若不能得到滿足，甚至會不擇手段，強行自別人手中搶來。
佔 有慾與利害成正比例。不但個人如此，國家與國家也是如此。昨天還是友邦，今天卻動武，曾經大興干戈卻互派親善大使，這種例子不知看過多少。這些都是在 「佔有」的基礎上，有著利害關係。如果人類歷史從佔有變成無所有，那麼世上應該就沒有戰爭。從來沒聽過沒有戰利品代價的戰爭吧？
甘地曾經說過，「對我來說，擁有讓人想到的就是犯罪……。」
你想擁有的，別人也想，然而，讓所有人都一起擁有幾乎不可能，難怪甘地會因擁有感到罪惡。
因為想佔有會讓我們眼睛矇蔽，所以也從沒想過檢視自己的本分。將來你我都會空手離去，拋下這肉身孤孤單單地走完人生。那麼多東西，奈你有何作用呢？
捨棄的愈多，得到的愈多。這是可以讓因為身外之物而煩惱的人深思的一句話。什麼都沒有的人，其實是擁有世上所有的一切，這正是無所有的另一層意義。
◎沉默的意義
現代真是話多的時代。雖然人嘴巴的功能是要吃也要吐，但再沒有比現今人們為了不吐不快，而更勞心費力了。以前是只有人聚集在一起才能打開話匣子，現在隨著大眾媒體傳播的出現，一個人也能滔滔不絕地聒噪。
我們都有過那樣的經驗，說出那麼多的話，其實只有一、兩句是有用的話。天天從我口中說出的話，在一個人安靜下來回想時，發現絕大部份都是毫無用處的廢話。人本來應該說的是必須要說的「真話」，但實際上，從口中說出的泰半是廢話與謊話，實在令人感到擔憂。
一張嘴不停地說，體內的氣也隨著話往外擴散，致使話尾漸漸變得空虛淺薄。
有時我會想，怎麼樣才算是好朋友呢？首先，相聚在一起時，能意識到時間的存在，不會因在一起的時間感到漫長無趣，反而有「哎呀！怎麼已經……。」的感覺。彼此之間濃厚的情誼，會讓人感覺到時間飛逝得特別快，這是因為與好友相距於時間與空間之外。
其次，又怎麼樣才可以看出是好朋友呢？不錯！好朋友就是即便不說話，也不會感到無聊或尷尬。不需開口出聲，也能默默傳情。差別在沒自口中發出聲音而已，字字珠璣，從沉默當中已不斷閃爍而過。到達那境地，是時間與空間所無法左右的。
話經常伴隨誤解而來。一句相同概念的話，會造成不解和誤會，都是因為彼此不了解藏在話語背後的意思。母親可以知道正在牙牙學語的孩子說什麼，與其是聽懂他發出的聲音，不如說是豎起耳朵用心去聆聽。
這種母愛在沉默當中傳達。
不能吞下沉默的話語，那與噪音無異。從不經大腦思考、信口開河而出的話中，我們可以知道噪音與話之間的界限。今日我們的社會，不論身分地位高低，從口中說出的話會趨向淺薄鄙俗的現象，證明了人內心的空虛。這是因為人們不從內心接受沉默的觀照。
同時，急躁的現代人不知如何使用自己的語言。毫無抵抗地接受來自當權者、明星、歌手、諧星等人的言語，且如出一口的模仿。所以腦袋變得空洞，被奪走自己原有的語言。
語言的極限是沉默
修行者的寡言與沉默被視為一種美德，正是因為其中是參話頭的所在。透過默想我們聽到聚合在內心的聲音，這種內心的聲音如同還未經過編輯的經書。讀經的真正意義不也就是要與經書一起生活，去讀懂那還未成為鉛字的語言嗎？
我有一卷經
不因紙墨成
展開無一字
常放大光明
這是佛經裡的話。這話的意思是，日常中人們慣於只透過眼視、耳聞、手觸等感官動作，意識事物的存在。但實際上如沉默一般，會有視而不見、聽而不聞的時候。所以人要跳脫自我中心的既有觀念，懷著坦誠虛心，才能常放大光明。
語言是人們傳達意思的工具，有時也會有反作用的機能出現。「口是禍門」意指禍從口出，這句話是對「話」反作用的指責。
紀伯倫曾謂，我們該說的話是「用聲音之中的聲音，在耳中之耳。」事實上語言的極限說是言語，不如說是一種沉默。喜極無言，人在極度感動時是說不出話來的。但人們通常仍是照說自己愛說的，且認為非說不可。
也 有該說卻死守沉默的人。那不是美德，而是一種卑怯的迴避。那種沉默有時形同犯罪，沒有勇氣面對正義與真理的沉默是卑怯的逃避。卑怯的迴避只會讓我們的社 會蒙受污點。沉默的意義是為了去除贅語與廢話，說出正正當當有用的話，不是死守膽怯的沉默。它讓人們不管在哪兒，都可以無距離感地暢談，而這些話語也連接 貫通了你我光明的大道。這也是修行者修練沉默的意義。
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For those who can read Chinese.
謹以此文獻給流浪在外的子女們
遊蕩了這麼多年，從東到西，又從北到南，一年又一年，我在長大，知識在增加，世界在變小，家鄉的母親在變老。
二 十一年前母親把我送上了火車，從那以後，我一刻也沒有停止探索這個世界，二十年裡，從北京到上海，從廣州到香港，從紐約到華盛頓，從南美到南非，從倫敦 到雪梨，我遊蕩過五十多個國家，在十幾個城市生活和工作過。每到一個地方，從裡到外，就得改變自己以適應新的環境，而唯一不變的是心中對母親的思念。IP 電話
卡出現後，我才有能力常常從國外給母親打電話，電話中母親興奮不已的聲音總能讓我更加輕鬆地面對生活中的艱難和挑戰。然而也有讓我不安的地 方，那就是我感 覺到母親的聲音一次比一次蒼老。過去兩年裡，母親每次電話中總是反覆叮囑：好好再外面生活，不要擔心我，一定要照顧好自己，不要想著回來，回來很花錢，又 對你的工作和事業不好，不要想著我…說得越來越囉嗦，囉嗦得讓我心疼，我知道，母親想我了。
母親今年七十五歲。
我毅然決 定放下手頭的一切工作，擱下心裡的一切計劃，扣下腦袋裡的一切想法，回國回家去陪伴母親一個月。這一個月裡，什麼也不幹，什麼也不想，只是陪伴母 親。從我打電話告訴母親的那一天開始到我回到家，有兩個月零八天，後來我知道，母親放下電話後，就拿出一個小本本，然後給自己擬定了一個計劃，她要為我回 家做準備。那兩個月裡母親把我喜歡吃的菜都準備好，把我小時候喜歡蓋\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\的被子「筒」好，還要為我準備在家裡穿的衣服…這一切對於一個行動不方便的，患有輕微老年癡呆症的75歲的母親來說是多麼的不容易，你肯定無法體會。直到我回去的前一天，母親才自豪地告訴鄰居：總算準備好了。
我 回到了家。在飛機上，我很想見到母親的時候擁抱她一下，但見面後我並沒有這樣做。母親站在那裡，像一隻風乾的劈柴，臉上的皺紋讓我怎麼也想不起以前母親 的樣子。母親花了整個整個的小時準備菜，她準備的都是我以前最喜歡的。但是我知道，我早就不再喜歡我以前喜歡的菜。而且母親由於眼睛看不清，味覺的變化， 做的菜都是鹹一碗，淡一碗的。母親為我準備的被子是新棉花墊的，厚厚的像席夢思，我一點也不習慣，我早就用空調被子和羊毛被了。但我都沒有說出來。我是回 來陪伴母親的。
開始兩天母親忙找張羅來張羅去，沒有時間坐下來，後來有時間坐下來了，母親就開始囉嗦了。母親開始給我講人生的大道理，只 是這些大道理是幾十年前母親反覆 講過的。後來母親還講，而且開始對照這些道理來檢討我的生活和工作。於是我開始耐心地告訴媽媽，那些道理過時了。於是母親就會癡呆呆地坐在那裡。
情 況變得越來越糟糕。我發現母親由於身體特別是眼睛不好，做飯時不講衛生，飯菜裡經常混進蟲子蒼蠅，飯菜掉在灶台上，她又會撿進碗裡，於是我婉轉地告訴母 親，我們到外面吃一點。母親馬上告訴我，外面吃不乾淨，假東西多。我又告訴母親，想為她請一個保姆，母親生氣地一拐一拐在房間裡辟啪辟啪地走，說她自己還 可以去給人家當保姆。我無話可說。我要去逛街，母親一定要去，結果我們一個上午都沒有走到商場。
每當我們討論一些事情的時候，母親總以為 兒子已經誤入歧途，而我也開始不客氣地告訴母親，時代進步了，不要再用老眼光看東西。和母親在一起的下半個月，我 越來越多地打斷母親的話，越來越多的感到不耐煩，但我們從來沒有爭吵，因為每當我提高聲音或者打斷母親的話，她都一下子停下來，沉默不語，眼睛裡有迷茫 ——母親的老年癡呆症越來越嚴重了。
我要走前，母親從床底下吃力地拉出一個小紙箱，打開來，取出厚厚的一疊剪報。原來我出國後，母親開始 關心國外的事情，為此他還專門訂了份《參考消息》，每 當她看到國外發生的一些排華辱華事件，又或者出現嚴重的治安問題，她就會小心地把它們剪下來，放好。她要等我回來，一起交給我。她常常說，出門在外，要小 心。幾天前鄰居告訴我，母親在家看一曲日本人欺負中國華人的電視劇，在家哭了起來，第二天到處打聽怎麼樣子才能帶消息到日本。那時我正在日本講學。
母 親吃力地把那捆剪報搬出來，好像寶貝一樣交到我手裡，沉甸甸的，我為難了，我不可能帶這些走，何況這些也沒有什麼用處，可是母親剪這些資料下來的艱難也 只有我知道，母親看報必須使用放大鏡，她一天可以看完兩個版面就不錯了，要剪這麼大一捆資料，可想而知。我正在為難，這時那一捆剪報裡飄落下一片紙片。我 想去撿起來，沒有想到，母親竟然先撿了起來。只是她並沒有放進我手裡的這捆剪報裡，而是小心地收進了自己的口袋。「媽媽，那一張剪報是什麼？給我看一 下。」我問。母親猶豫了一下，把那張小剪報放在那一疊剪報上面，轉身到廚房準備晚餐\\\。我拿起小剪報，發現是一篇小文章，題目是「當我老了」，旁邊的日期是《參考消息》2004年12月6日（正是我開始越來越多打斷母親的話，對母親不耐煩的時候）。
文章擇選自墨西哥《數字家庭》十一月號。我一口氣讀完這篇短文─
當我老了：
當我老了，不再是原來的我。請理解我，對我有一點耐心。
當我把菜湯灑到自己的衣服上時，當我忘記怎樣繫鞋帶時，請想一想當初我是如何手把手地教你。
當我一遍又一遍地重複你早已聽膩的話語，請耐心地聽我說，不要打斷我。你小的時候，我不得不重複那個講過千百遍的故事，直到你進入夢鄉。
當我需要你幫我洗澡時，請不要責備我。還記得小時候我千方百計哄你洗澡的情形嗎？
當我對新科技和新事物不知所措時，請不要嘲笑我。想一想當初我怎樣耐心地回答你的每一個「為什麼」。
當我由於雙腿疲勞而無法行走時，請伸出你年輕有力的手攙扶我。就像你小時候學習走路時，我扶你那樣。
當我忽然忘記我們談話的主題，請給我一些時間讓我回想。其實對我來說，談論什麼並不重要，只要你能在一旁聽我說，我就很滿足。
當你看著老去的我，請不要悲傷。理解我，支持我，就像你剛才開始學習如何生活時我對你那樣。當初我引導你走上人生路，如今請陪伴我走完最後的路。給我你的愛和耐心，我會抱以感激的微笑，這微笑中凝結著我對你無限的愛。
一口氣讀完，我差一點忍不住流下眼淚\\\，這時母親走出來，我假裝什麼也沒有發生，母親原本是要我帶走後回到海外自己再看到這片剪報的。我隨手把那篇文章放在這一捆剪報裡。然後把我的箱子打開，我留下了一套昂貴的西裝，才把剪報塞進去。
我看到母親特別高興，彷彿那些剪報是護身符，又彷彿我接受了母親的剪報，就又變成了一個好孩子。母親一直把我送上出租車。
那捆剪報真的沒有什麼用處，但那篇「當我老了」的小紙片從此以後會伴隨我…
現在這張小紙片就在我的書桌前，我把它鑲在了鏡框裡。現在我把這文章打印出來，與像我一樣的海外遊子共享。
在新的一年將要到來的時候，給母親打個電話，告訴她你一直想吃她老人家做的小菜…
2004年12月28日
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《天下雜誌》出版這本心靈小品，希望能在這個炎炎夏日裡，為你吹入一抹心靈涼風。
◎小時鐘
與陌生人初次見面時，沒有生疏尷尬的氣氛，反而有一份喜悅。那是在有三十六億人口的地球上，能與其中一人見面的原因。不能不感謝彼此相見的這份因緣。雖然活在相同的天空、相同的語言和風俗習慣下，你我的擦肩而過，是人世間的生態。
即使是不利於我的人，如果不是有相當的緣分，在浩瀚眾多的人群當中，怎麼會和這個人碰在一起呢？借用佛教的說法，那是幾世修來的因緣。人和物的情形也如同這種關係。在許多物品當中，有一個東西「來」成為我的。
在我伏案寫作的桌上，有個生活上甚為依賴、但身分不明的小時鐘。看著這小鐘愈發讓人覺得人和物之間的關係，真是奇妙得不可思議。在我眼中，它不是單純的物品而已。
那是去年秋天，凌晨禮佛時發生的事。在法堂禮佛結束後，經過板殿，我漫步約一個小時後回到住處，發現房門開著，小偷來過。平常沒有鎖門習慣的我，讓他毫不費力輕易登門入室。一看，拿走了日常生活的東西，看來我需要的，他也需要。
儘 管如此，留下的還是比他拿走的多。我忽然感到慚愧，自己有的比別人貪婪動念拿走的還多。世上所有的物品，都不是我們生下時帶來的，只是因緣際會留在人身 邊。有一天當它不見了，是因為因緣圓滿而離開，能夠這樣想的話，就不會對失去的東西感到惋惜。而且說不定那是前生我曾偷過別人東西的因果報應，現在別人拿 走了，給我償還贖罪，反而讓人有如釋負重之感。
想知道到底有什麼東西不見，我仔細的清理了房間。對於已掉的東西不再眷戀，把散落的衣物一一放回原位，不禁對人間紅塵事，別有一番滋味在心頭。
不 見的東西中比較迫切需要的是桌上的小鐘。偷兒來過後幾天，我外出買鐘。心中打定了主意，這次只要買一個最普通的便宜二手貨。來到清溪川一家鐘錶店。進去 一看，呵！呵！哈哈哈……！哎呀！這到底是怎麼一回事？幾天前遺失的小鐘，正安然地出現在眼前等著我。而且是一男子與主人正在討價還價的物品。男子一看到 我忽然低頭迴避，難掩驚惶失措的眼神，不下於他的慌張，我也緊張了一下。
最後我用一千元向那男子買回了我的小時鐘。我不是甚麼慈悲家，談不上寬恕別人。說穿了，我們不都是與舊物共同生活、處境相同的人嗎？感謝與時鐘意外失而復得的這段因緣，同時也只有自己才能扭轉自己的心。
對別人完全慈悲的寬恕，還不如說是收回將動搖迷失的自己。
◎靈魂的母音─給小王子的一封信
小 王子！你的朋友聖修伯理是這樣說的，「大人只愛數字。他們對新認識的朋友，從來不提最重要的實質性問題。他們從來不問，『他說話的聲音如何？最喜歡什麼 樣的遊戲？是否收集蝴蝶標本呢？』他們只問，『他多大年紀呀？兄弟有幾個呀？體重多少呀？他父親賺多少錢呀？』，然後以為這樣才算了解朋友。
如果你對大人們說，『我看到一棟用紅色磚瓦蓋成的漂亮房子，它的窗戶邊開著天竺葵，屋頂上還有鴿子……。』他怎麼樣也想像不出這種房子有多麼好。你必須跟他們說，『我看見一棟價值十萬法郎的房子。』那麼他們就會驚訝地叫道，『多麼不得了的房子！』」
現 在我們的處境也是陷在數字的遊戲當中。人們只關心經過兩次選舉頻頻上升的物價，出口量比預估下落，國民所得如何如何等等的數字上。彷彿從數字上顯現的愈 多，表示人們的生活過得愈好，因此讓治理國家的官員，全副精神只投注在數字上面。當數字上升時，神氣得不得了；數字下跌時，就任意發脾氣。從不去關心自己 生命的靈魂還剩下多少，生活在被數字處處擺布的日子裡。
問題在於，因這看得見的數字把戲，會讓隱藏在人內心看不見的部份逐漸萎縮乾枯。雖 然你可拿這樣的比喻說，同樣是喝水，牛喝下去出來的是牛奶，蛇喝下去最後 出來的卻是毒液，但根本還是來自操縱數字當事者人性的本質問題。老是要看數字的大人，即使在離開人間大地後，到處飄浮閃閃，也還不能覺悟那事實的真相。
小王子！你說過那種人不就是朵蘑菇吧？
「他從來沒有聞過一朵花，從來沒有看過一顆星星。他什麼人也沒有喜歡過。除了加減算帳以外，他什麼事也沒做過。他整天老是同你說，『我有正經事，我是個善良的人。』這使他驕傲得很。他簡直不像是個人，他是個蘑菇。」
對！ 如同你從狐狸那兒得到的祕密，最重要的東西用眼睛是看不到的。想要看清楚就要用心去看。事實上，我們用眼睛只能看到冰山一角，只有用心去感受才能看到 更寬闊、更廣大的世界。但是大人是這樣的嗎？單憑出現在眼前的，才算看到。他們是睜眼瞎子。對於現代人來說，努力去看那肉眼看不到的世界的智慧，是不中用 的話。
◎無所有
「我是貧窮的托缽僧。我有的是紡織車、教養院的飯缽、羊奶罐、六條老舊的毯子、毛巾及再普通不過的板凳，就這些而已。」
這是甘地一九三一年九月，前往在倫敦舉行的第二屆圓桌會議途中，對馬賽海關申報攜帶物品時所說的話。讀到《甘地語錄》中的這句話時，我感到非常慚愧。那是為自己擁有太多東西而感到慚愧。至少以我目前的本分，確是那樣。
事實上，當人來到這世上時，什麼東西也沒帶來，活到名字消失、離開人世時，也是空手離開。在活著的過程中，我們有了許多所謂生活上的必需品。不過這些都是一定需要的物品嗎？仔細想一想，不一定要的東西還真不少。
我們雖因需要而擁有物品，但有時也因那些東西帶來不少牽掛。所以擁有什麼，相對的就會為它所束縛。原來因為需要而擁有的，到後來主客顛倒，反而因此失去自由。或許，因為比別人擁有更多而炫耀，但炫耀多少，同時也得承受多少束縛折磨。
到 去年夏天之前，我非常用心和費心地養了兩盆蘭花。三年前遷移到茶來軒時，一位法師送來蘭花，成為房間內除了我以外的生命體。為了照顧這同居的小傢伙，我 特地買了養蘭的書來看，為了它的健康，除了給它好的肥料，夏天還移到涼快沒有日曬的地方，冬天則把房間內的暖氣調降到低溫。
如果把這樣的心思用在照料父母，恐怕早就成為孝子。像這樣百般地關愛它，也是有些回報。早春時，淡雅的花香，含苞待放淺色的花朵，清新如上弦月的葉片，讓人期待，也獲得茶來軒客人的讚賞喜愛。
直到去年夏天的某一天，我因要去奉先寺拜訪耘虛和尚，外出途中，原來籠罩在雨季中陰沉的天空，突然露出晴朗的陽光，樹林里流竄出的蟬鳴聲，此起彼落地與溪谷潺潺的流水聲唱和著。啊呀！想起蘭花不放在外面的庭院嗎？此時忽然怪起眼前久未露面的難得燦爛陽光。
一想到蘭花可能會被熾熱陽光曬到萎縮的光景，顧不得一切，慌慌張張地折回了住處，果不出所料，蘭花已經奄奄一息。心中有說不出的惋惜，趕快給它澆水，不久總算恢復原狀，不過，似乎沒有了原有的元氣。
那時，我才深切領悟到執著的難受。沒錯，我對蘭花太執念了。為了養蘭，不但無法外出行腳，有事外出時還得記得把窗門打開，讓空氣流通切換，因為花盆擺在外面，也不只跑回家兩、三次，這一切真是過度的執著。我決定趕快放下這執著。
幾天以後，我把它送給一位如蘭花般沉靜的訪友。我終於脫離了束縛，雖說有三年共處的情感，但是如釋重負的解脫勝過心中的不捨與失落。真是愉快的解脫！
或許是透過蘭花讓我領悟到無所有的意義，從那天起，我決定實踐每天捨棄一樣東西。
人類的歷史彷彿就像一部所有史。為了讓自己擁有更多而不停地戰鬥。佔有的慾望是永無止盡、永無休止的，哪怕是多一件就好的心理，也會讓這種佔有不斷充斥腦海。不僅不能滿足對物品的佔有，連人也要佔為己有。若不能得到滿足，甚至會不擇手段，強行自別人手中搶來。
佔 有慾與利害成正比例。不但個人如此，國家與國家也是如此。昨天還是友邦，今天卻動武，曾經大興干戈卻互派親善大使，這種例子不知看過多少。這些都是在 「佔有」的基礎上，有著利害關係。如果人類歷史從佔有變成無所有，那麼世上應該就沒有戰爭。從來沒聽過沒有戰利品代價的戰爭吧？
甘地曾經說過，「對我來說，擁有讓人想到的就是犯罪……。」
你想擁有的，別人也想，然而，讓所有人都一起擁有幾乎不可能，難怪甘地會因擁有感到罪惡。
因為想佔有會讓我們眼睛矇蔽，所以也從沒想過檢視自己的本分。將來你我都會空手離去，拋下這肉身孤孤單單地走完人生。那麼多東西，奈你有何作用呢？
捨棄的愈多，得到的愈多。這是可以讓因為身外之物而煩惱的人深思的一句話。什麼都沒有的人，其實是擁有世上所有的一切，這正是無所有的另一層意義。
◎沉默的意義
現代真是話多的時代。雖然人嘴巴的功能是要吃也要吐，但再沒有比現今人們為了不吐不快，而更勞心費力了。以前是只有人聚集在一起才能打開話匣子，現在隨著大眾媒體傳播的出現，一個人也能滔滔不絕地聒噪。
我們都有過那樣的經驗，說出那麼多的話，其實只有一、兩句是有用的話。天天從我口中說出的話，在一個人安靜下來回想時，發現絕大部份都是毫無用處的廢話。人本來應該說的是必須要說的「真話」，但實際上，從口中說出的泰半是廢話與謊話，實在令人感到擔憂。
一張嘴不停地說，體內的氣也隨著話往外擴散，致使話尾漸漸變得空虛淺薄。
有時我會想，怎麼樣才算是好朋友呢？首先，相聚在一起時，能意識到時間的存在，不會因在一起的時間感到漫長無趣，反而有「哎呀！怎麼已經……。」的感覺。彼此之間濃厚的情誼，會讓人感覺到時間飛逝得特別快，這是因為與好友相距於時間與空間之外。
其次，又怎麼樣才可以看出是好朋友呢？不錯！好朋友就是即便不說話，也不會感到無聊或尷尬。不需開口出聲，也能默默傳情。差別在沒自口中發出聲音而已，字字珠璣，從沉默當中已不斷閃爍而過。到達那境地，是時間與空間所無法左右的。
話經常伴隨誤解而來。一句相同概念的話，會造成不解和誤會，都是因為彼此不了解藏在話語背後的意思。母親可以知道正在牙牙學語的孩子說什麼，與其是聽懂他發出的聲音，不如說是豎起耳朵用心去聆聽。
這種母愛在沉默當中傳達。
不能吞下沉默的話語，那與噪音無異。從不經大腦思考、信口開河而出的話中，我們可以知道噪音與話之間的界限。今日我們的社會，不論身分地位高低，從口中說出的話會趨向淺薄鄙俗的現象，證明了人內心的空虛。這是因為人們不從內心接受沉默的觀照。
同時，急躁的現代人不知如何使用自己的語言。毫無抵抗地接受來自當權者、明星、歌手、諧星等人的言語，且如出一口的模仿。所以腦袋變得空洞，被奪走自己原有的語言。
語言的極限是沉默
修行者的寡言與沉默被視為一種美德，正是因為其中是參話頭的所在。透過默想我們聽到聚合在內心的聲音，這種內心的聲音如同還未經過編輯的經書。讀經的真正意義不也就是要與經書一起生活，去讀懂那還未成為鉛字的語言嗎？
我有一卷經
不因紙墨成
展開無一字
常放大光明
這是佛經裡的話。這話的意思是，日常中人們慣於只透過眼視、耳聞、手觸等感官動作，意識事物的存在。但實際上如沉默一般，會有視而不見、聽而不聞的時候。所以人要跳脫自我中心的既有觀念，懷著坦誠虛心，才能常放大光明。
語言是人們傳達意思的工具，有時也會有反作用的機能出現。「口是禍門」意指禍從口出，這句話是對「話」反作用的指責。
紀伯倫曾謂，我們該說的話是「用聲音之中的聲音，在耳中之耳。」事實上語言的極限說是言語，不如說是一種沉默。喜極無言，人在極度感動時是說不出話來的。但人們通常仍是照說自己愛說的，且認為非說不可。
也 有該說卻死守沉默的人。那不是美德，而是一種卑怯的迴避。那種沉默有時形同犯罪，沒有勇氣面對正義與真理的沉默是卑怯的逃避。卑怯的迴避只會讓我們的社 會蒙受污點。沉默的意義是為了去除贅語與廢話，說出正正當當有用的話，不是死守膽怯的沉默。它讓人們不管在哪兒，都可以無距離感地暢談，而這些話語也連接 貫通了你我光明的大道。這也是修行者修練沉默的意義。
--
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Asian Pianists
===
The Keyboard Trade
By DANIEL J. WAKIN
The NY Times
August 14, 2005
The classical piano talent bubbling out of China is no
longer a secret. Witness Lang Lang and Yundi Li, emerging
stars with big careers. So it may be no surprise that the
winner of the Cleveland International Piano Competition on
Aug. 6 was the Chinese pianist Chu-Fang Huang, 23, or that
Ms. Huang was a finalist at this year's Van Cliburn
competition, along with Sa Chen, 25, also of China, who won
third prize. More revealing, perhaps, was that 8 of the 35
competitors in the Cliburn were from China, the most of any
country.
And more: 10 of the 25 students of Veda Kaplinsky,
chairwoman of Juilliard School's piano department, are
Chinese.
Gary Graffman, president of the Curtis Institute of Music in
Philadelphia, had three students, all Chinese, last year.
One, Yuja Wang, is already managed by International Creative
Management.
Mr. Graffman said: "You have 1.3 billion people in China. It
seems like they are all starting piano or violin. It's a
little like the Jews of Eastern Europe." For them in the
past, he said, music careers were a way out of the ghetto;
similarly, many Chinese families in the growing middle class
see music as a ticket to the West, he said.
Why the explosion of Chinese talent? "The main answer seems
to be the kind of discipline the parents instill in their
kids and the degree of importance they attach to classical
music, which is pretty much nonexistent in this country,"
Ms. Kaplinsky said. "Perhaps it's the result of being
forbidden fruit for so long." She also noted the immense
community and government support.
Long hours of practice also give Chinese pianists a boost in
competitions, where the stress is intense. "When you put
them under pressure," Ms. Kaplinsky said, "they hold up
better than most people do."
[ Cliburn competition monitors will remember
Vera Kaplinsky's influence there. ]
=== End of article ===
Now, is that all? A ticket to the west? A chase after a long forbidden fruit? How about simply the love for music? With the globalization, really, western traditional music will not be the dominating or the so call higher class performing art form. Many cultures, including Chinese, has their own ancient highly developed music. The different sound of the world will take over the domination of the traditional western music. In fact, personally, I love Chinese instruments, Chinese Opera, and many other form of Chinese Arts, in fact, I would probably have a much better time pursuing that than trying to stay in the traditional Western Classical music business, yet, why do I keep trying no matter how hard it is? Because I love it. As simple as that. So, don't make any statements like that before you really understand why we do it. It is degrading the Western Music. If I want a ticket to the west long ago, I would listen to my parents, discontinue the piano playing, and go get my degree in either computer science, double E, medical, bio/tech research or even accounting. Those will really give me the ticket into great school with full scholarship, rather than working so hard to compete with many pianists (especially the fellow Asians) for so little amount of scholarship fund. So, please, don't be such a hypocrite. That really makes me mad!!!!
The Keyboard Trade
By DANIEL J. WAKIN
The NY Times
August 14, 2005
The classical piano talent bubbling out of China is no
longer a secret. Witness Lang Lang and Yundi Li, emerging
stars with big careers. So it may be no surprise that the
winner of the Cleveland International Piano Competition on
Aug. 6 was the Chinese pianist Chu-Fang Huang, 23, or that
Ms. Huang was a finalist at this year's Van Cliburn
competition, along with Sa Chen, 25, also of China, who won
third prize. More revealing, perhaps, was that 8 of the 35
competitors in the Cliburn were from China, the most of any
country.
And more: 10 of the 25 students of Veda Kaplinsky,
chairwoman of Juilliard School's piano department, are
Chinese.
Gary Graffman, president of the Curtis Institute of Music in
Philadelphia, had three students, all Chinese, last year.
One, Yuja Wang, is already managed by International Creative
Management.
Mr. Graffman said: "You have 1.3 billion people in China. It
seems like they are all starting piano or violin. It's a
little like the Jews of Eastern Europe." For them in the
past, he said, music careers were a way out of the ghetto;
similarly, many Chinese families in the growing middle class
see music as a ticket to the West, he said.
Why the explosion of Chinese talent? "The main answer seems
to be the kind of discipline the parents instill in their
kids and the degree of importance they attach to classical
music, which is pretty much nonexistent in this country,"
Ms. Kaplinsky said. "Perhaps it's the result of being
forbidden fruit for so long." She also noted the immense
community and government support.
Long hours of practice also give Chinese pianists a boost in
competitions, where the stress is intense. "When you put
them under pressure," Ms. Kaplinsky said, "they hold up
better than most people do."
[ Cliburn competition monitors will remember
Vera Kaplinsky's influence there. ]
=== End of article ===
Now, is that all? A ticket to the west? A chase after a long forbidden fruit? How about simply the love for music? With the globalization, really, western traditional music will not be the dominating or the so call higher class performing art form. Many cultures, including Chinese, has their own ancient highly developed music. The different sound of the world will take over the domination of the traditional western music. In fact, personally, I love Chinese instruments, Chinese Opera, and many other form of Chinese Arts, in fact, I would probably have a much better time pursuing that than trying to stay in the traditional Western Classical music business, yet, why do I keep trying no matter how hard it is? Because I love it. As simple as that. So, don't make any statements like that before you really understand why we do it. It is degrading the Western Music. If I want a ticket to the west long ago, I would listen to my parents, discontinue the piano playing, and go get my degree in either computer science, double E, medical, bio/tech research or even accounting. Those will really give me the ticket into great school with full scholarship, rather than working so hard to compete with many pianists (especially the fellow Asians) for so little amount of scholarship fund. So, please, don't be such a hypocrite. That really makes me mad!!!!
Evil Trucks
Have you noticed how recently many truck drivers have been driving like maniacs on highways? Many of them are speeding, passing in and out of lanes like they own the road. Just yesterday, there were 2 major truck related accidents we encountered in less than an hour. First one involved an over-turned truck that carried some soil like substance on I-15 in PA. Luckily, there was at least one lane open for cars to pass. The other one actually happened on I-270 South bound, which involved a trailor-truck and a pick-up truck. The trailor-truck was totally burned to ashes, and was blocking all lanes of the highway. The pick-up truck driver was flown to the hospital in critical condition. Because of that, one life might have been lost, and also, lots of people were stuck at the same spot for hours! We personally were so close to the accident scene that we were stopped there at 7:50pm before the police cars and ambulances even got there(having to witness the horrible flame and black smoke), and only start moving because they finally could open up right shoulder for cars to get by at 11 pm. We were there for 3 hours (just 20 minutes away from my sweet home, between exits)!!! We did not have dinner, could not go to the bathroom, tired from teaching whole day...
Anyway, the number of trucks traveling on highway are increasing at an incredible rate, and with the size of most trailor trucks (and many of them do carry hazardous substance), one would think they will drive more carefully, but no, they think they can drive like they own the highway. The number of accidents caused by these drivers are increasing at unbelievable speed. There were supposed to be another trailor-truck related accident this morning again on either I-495 or I-95, which again held up the traffic for hours. Maybe there should be a tougher traffic law specifically for trailor trucks? I know they are not supposed to drive on the far left lane, however, many of them do anyway. Shouldn't they obey the speed limit? I know people drive faster than the speed limit, but hey, with what they are carrying and the size of their vehicle, they have no business of driving 80 mph period!!!!
Anyway, just my observation. Life is precious, making good time is not as important than staying safe and alive. Drive Safely!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, the number of trucks traveling on highway are increasing at an incredible rate, and with the size of most trailor trucks (and many of them do carry hazardous substance), one would think they will drive more carefully, but no, they think they can drive like they own the highway. The number of accidents caused by these drivers are increasing at unbelievable speed. There were supposed to be another trailor-truck related accident this morning again on either I-495 or I-95, which again held up the traffic for hours. Maybe there should be a tougher traffic law specifically for trailor trucks? I know they are not supposed to drive on the far left lane, however, many of them do anyway. Shouldn't they obey the speed limit? I know people drive faster than the speed limit, but hey, with what they are carrying and the size of their vehicle, they have no business of driving 80 mph period!!!!
Anyway, just my observation. Life is precious, making good time is not as important than staying safe and alive. Drive Safely!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Crabbing and Fishing
A beautiful and peaceful dayAfter dropping Yi-Ann & Rose off at the Dullus Airport, I went straight to meet Rob at the Park & Ride off I-424 Davidsonville Rd around 7:30am.
Rob's beautiful boat!The goal was to go crabbing today. There was weather advisory for severely hot weather, but we were really lucky to not have that until around 1 pm. Since this is my first time crabbing, I had been anticipating with excitement for a few days already. The whole experience was great. The amount of work one needs to put into it was huge. However, it had a calming effect on me. Once you started the whole process, all you can think about was to get to the next trap, and to check whether there was any unfortunate crab trapped in it. Rob was doing most of the physical work though ... Putting out the traps (with chickens in them), checking the traps, while I was navigating the boat. Now, navigating the boat is no easy task for me. Since there are factors like the wind, the water current, the motor of the boat, etc, I find it really hard to keep the boat in straight line, let along controlling where exactly it needed to be for us to check the traps. There was this funny crab which after we released it, kept coming back to the same trap. I thought it was a extremely stupid crab, however Rob thought otherwise. He thought the crab is actually smart. It knew that it is undersized, and we would not take it home, so, why not keep coming back to finish the chicken meal we prepared for it?! After the first session of crabbing, Rob decided to take me fishing. This was a first for me also. It is not easy to do what one needs to do with relaxed hands while fishing. It took me several tries to get the movement right. I did have beginner's luck though. I caught a beautiful Rockfish. Of course I thought that was the most beautiful one ever existed. ^_^ I was happy to let it go back to where it came from though. After our fishing break, we went back to finish our job. The result was not bad at all. We probably let go of about 25 to 30 undersize crabs, and kept about 40. Of course, all 40 of them turn into our dinner tonight. Peter and Fiona were both impressed with the work we did.
Result of the day of crabbing - Maryland Blue Crabs - about 40 of them in total
The Crab Feast was held at Rob & Fiona's place. We also got corn, potato, beer, & champagne to accompanying our crabs. The crabs were steamed with traditional Maryland Crab recipe (with beer, vinegar, water & old bay seasoning). It was the best crab dinner I ever had. They were fat and juicy, the meat was sweet. It was excellent!
Monday, August 15, 2005
Collections of the day
Here I am again, sitting in my studio and browsing the web. Last week ended really well with the lighthearted movie "Hitch". It is a movie for you if you want to just relax and have a little laugh at the end of a tired week.
Here are some of my collections from today's web-browsing:
__________________________________________________________
Free Culture by Professor Lawrence Lessig of Stanford Law School
-I have not yet finalized my thoughts on this matter yet!
__________________________________________________________
Here are some of my collections from today's web-browsing:
__________________________________________________________
Free Culture by Professor Lawrence Lessig of Stanford Law School
-I have not yet finalized my thoughts on this matter yet!
__________________________________________________________
On the photo - Schostakovich as a fireman in 1941's Leningrad
http://www.borodulincollection.com/war/leningrad_blocked_images/9.htm (source)
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Daily SuDoku
The SuDoKu puzzle:
The object is to insert the numbers in the boxes to satisfy only one condition: each row, column and 3x3 box must contain the digits 1 through 9 exactly once. What could be simpler?
Enjoy!
The object is to insert the numbers in the boxes to satisfy only one condition: each row, column and 3x3 box must contain the digits 1 through 9 exactly once. What could be simpler?
Enjoy!
Saturday, August 13, 2005
A day off
Finally, a day that I can relax at home. Even though I have to drive to PA tomorrow again for another concert, yet a day is plenty to get my lost energy back. I woke up early so I can drop off my cousin, Yi-An, and her friend for their 4 days 3 nights East-America Tour.
With all the horrific driving experiences I have gone through for the past week, I thought I would copy paste part of this forwarded e-mail here. I think they are funny, however sadly true in most cases:
___________________________________________
*you must learn to call it by its rightful name. It is D.C., or
"the District." Only tourists call it Washington.
*There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in D.C. It's
just another chase, usually on the BW Parkway.
*All directions start with "The Beltway"...which has no beginning and
no end, just one continuous loop that locals believe is somehow clarified
by an 'inner' and 'outer loop' designation. This makes no sense to
ANYONE outside the Beltway.
*The morning rush hour is from 5 to 11 AM. The evening rush hour is
from 1 to 8 PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning, especially
during the summer on Route 50 eastbound.
*Rain causes an immediate 50 point drop of IQ in drivers.
*Snow causes an immediate 100 point drop in IQ and a rush to the Giant
for toilet paper and milk.
*Don't forget that if your destination is only a mile away, it will
take at least 30 minutes to get there due to traffic congestion: the idiot in
the BMW SUV who thinks he has to conduct a conference call to negotiate
world peace while swerving all over the world, the scores of newcomers
who decide to cross the road when there's a mass of cars coming at them
going 80 mph, thus causing everyone to slam on their brakes which leads
to an accident, and the sadistic people who have to stare at the fender
bender.
*All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we're in
Takoma Park."
*If someone actually has their turn signal on, they are, by definition,
a tourist.
*Car horns are actually "Road Rage" indicators. Heed the warning.
*All old ladies in Buicks have the right of way in the area of Leisure
World.
*Many roads mysteriously change their names as you cross intersections.
Don't ask why, no one knows.
*A taxi ride across town will cost you $12.50. A taxi ride two blocks
will cost you $16.75 (It's a zone thing, you wouldn't understand.)
*Traveling south out of DC on Interstate 395/295/95 is the most
dangerous, scariest thing you will ever do. There is nothing more
comforting than seven lanes of traffic cruising along at 85 mph, BUMPER
TO BUMPER!!!
*The minimum acceptable speed on the Beltway is 85. Anything less is
considered downright sissy.
*The open lane for passing on all Maryland interstates is the far right
lane because no self-respecting Marylander would ever be caught driving
in the "slow" lane. Unofficially, both shoulders are fair game also.
*The far left lanes on all Maryland interstates are official "chat"
lanes reserved for drivers who wish to talk on their cell phones. Note: All
mini-vans and SUVs have priority clearance to use the far left at
whatever speed the driver feels most comfortable multi-tasking in.
*If the humidity is 90+ and the temperature is 90+, then it's May,
June, July, August, September, and sometimes October.
*Always remember this little rule on the Metro: Stand right, walk
left. People WILL knock you down the Metro escalator and shout nasty things.
*A handy-dandy tip when bar-hopping: Unless you're on a first-name
basis with the President, Condy Rice, certain Senators or
Representatives, or Donald Rumsfield...you get the idea...no one cares
about you or your life story.
*DC'ers are busy, important people who only want to talk to
other busy, important people. We are not friendly folks looking to meet new
like minded people; we only want to know what you can do for us...
otherwise, get out of the way and stop boring us.
___________________________________________
With all the horrific driving experiences I have gone through for the past week, I thought I would copy paste part of this forwarded e-mail here. I think they are funny, however sadly true in most cases:
___________________________________________
*you must learn to call it by its rightful name. It is D.C., or
"the District." Only tourists call it Washington.
*There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in D.C. It's
just another chase, usually on the BW Parkway.
*All directions start with "The Beltway"...which has no beginning and
no end, just one continuous loop that locals believe is somehow clarified
by an 'inner' and 'outer loop' designation. This makes no sense to
ANYONE outside the Beltway.
*The morning rush hour is from 5 to 11 AM. The evening rush hour is
from 1 to 8 PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning, especially
during the summer on Route 50 eastbound.
*Rain causes an immediate 50 point drop of IQ in drivers.
*Snow causes an immediate 100 point drop in IQ and a rush to the Giant
for toilet paper and milk.
*Don't forget that if your destination is only a mile away, it will
take at least 30 minutes to get there due to traffic congestion: the idiot in
the BMW SUV who thinks he has to conduct a conference call to negotiate
world peace while swerving all over the world, the scores of newcomers
who decide to cross the road when there's a mass of cars coming at them
going 80 mph, thus causing everyone to slam on their brakes which leads
to an accident, and the sadistic people who have to stare at the fender
bender.
*All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we're in
Takoma Park."
*If someone actually has their turn signal on, they are, by definition,
a tourist.
*Car horns are actually "Road Rage" indicators. Heed the warning.
*All old ladies in Buicks have the right of way in the area of Leisure
World.
*Many roads mysteriously change their names as you cross intersections.
Don't ask why, no one knows.
*A taxi ride across town will cost you $12.50. A taxi ride two blocks
will cost you $16.75 (It's a zone thing, you wouldn't understand.)
*Traveling south out of DC on Interstate 395/295/95 is the most
dangerous, scariest thing you will ever do. There is nothing more
comforting than seven lanes of traffic cruising along at 85 mph, BUMPER
TO BUMPER!!!
*The minimum acceptable speed on the Beltway is 85. Anything less is
considered downright sissy.
*The open lane for passing on all Maryland interstates is the far right
lane because no self-respecting Marylander would ever be caught driving
in the "slow" lane. Unofficially, both shoulders are fair game also.
*The far left lanes on all Maryland interstates are official "chat"
lanes reserved for drivers who wish to talk on their cell phones. Note: All
mini-vans and SUVs have priority clearance to use the far left at
whatever speed the driver feels most comfortable multi-tasking in.
*If the humidity is 90+ and the temperature is 90+, then it's May,
June, July, August, September, and sometimes October.
*Always remember this little rule on the Metro: Stand right, walk
left. People WILL knock you down the Metro escalator and shout nasty things.
*A handy-dandy tip when bar-hopping: Unless you're on a first-name
basis with the President, Condy Rice, certain Senators or
Representatives, or Donald Rumsfield...you get the idea...no one cares
about you or your life story.
*DC'ers are busy, important people who only want to talk to
other busy, important people. We are not friendly folks looking to meet new
like minded people; we only want to know what you can do for us...
otherwise, get out of the way and stop boring us.
___________________________________________
Well, I am off to the kitchen. I think I will bake some muffins and a bannana cake, then I can start to prepare for the dinner. ^_^ Nice for a change!
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
A strange, horrible, yet indelible and lucky day
Yesterday was a strange, horrible, yet a indelible and lucky day for me. It all started from the drive to concert in PA. Traffic was of course not good, but bearable for a Monday early afternoon with rain. As I was concentrating on drive since I-95 North was pack with cars, a motorcyclist, or a death chaser, suddenly appeared from nowhere in unbelievably high speed (probably about 100mph) going in and out and between all cars. Now, we are talking about a packed highway, with slow moving traffic. That was dangerous, an accident I was happy to miss! We (with my trio members) got to the performance site. We started getting ready, warming up as usual before concert. First sign of possible distress for concert.... thick carpeting... wall to wall. That makes the acoustic dry and dull, not very good for any program, especially with Brahms Piano Trio in C minor, and Smetna Piano Trio in G minor... Well, I said to myself, just deal with it, and it will be fine. Then, I discovered that, the piano cover (for the keyboard area) was extremely loose... In fact, it was so loose that during the performance, it was threatening to slam on my hands a few times. Well, again, I informed the trio members my problems, and told myself that just deal with it. While worrying about being hit by a piano cover, and trying to deliver the music at the same time, of course, the audience members were having a wonderful chat time. One often wonders why they pick the silence as the perfect opportunity for them to speak... Don't they get embarrassed? The clapping between the movements usually don't bother me as much, however, it really did bother me this time, because it was like auto-pilot. No meaning what so ever... Of course they were some audience members whom were deeply involved with music, and appeared to be tearing, yet, the noisy ones totally ruined other people's right to experience the music. Well, that is just normal ordeal that we encounter as performers, so, yes, just deal with it. However, the nightmare was not finished yet. After the concert, we started driving home. The weather was getting ugly, but not too bad. So, we were having our regular after concert chat in the car. I was driving with caution... Especially since the traffic has been bad the whole day. At an intersection, after the light for my direction turned green, as usually, I made sure the other traffic had totally stopped, then started driving.Then in a split second, a car from the right flew out at top speed turning into my lane...Now, I don't know how to describe this, but this young man with his girl friend must be either drunk or trying to commit suicide, if I did not swing to the left side a bit and stop instantly, and if the car next to me did not slam the break, this stupid kid would hit my car head on, and the car next to me would hit him head on, and we would all be dead. Due to the shock and the reaction I took, my muscle contracted viciously at the moment, and of course it cramped like never before for full hour, maybe even more. I have never felt such pain where my tears were coming down because of it. Pain reliever really did not help for at least half an hour. I don't wish people ill luck, but really, this stupid young man has made me wish him a horrible night. I hope he had learned his lesson, if not... He is going to one day make a big mess that will cost pain for not just his family, but others also. As if that is not enough, we finally got home with me looking like a ghost, and feeling like a stone, my husband informed me right before going to bed that he spotted a little mouse in our house.... AHHHHHHHHHHH That totally did it. There is no way a mouse can be in this house. It is clean, and not old, and we have a CAT!!! I can only think that it must of sneaked either this morning when we left the door open for a short while to get the carpet out to the trash car, or while my brother went out for a smoke, and left the door open a bit too long. Well, that was my yesterday....
At least now, I am happy to inform you all that my cat has done its duty gloriously probably during the night. He has killed the mouse... From the look of the site, he might have tortured the poor little thing before killing it. He has the look of triumph this morning as he watched me cleaning up the site. As far as the concert went, we (my husband and I) listened to the recording from it, and declared that the noisy audience and the finger slamming piano cover did not effect the concert much after all. I had just purchased a set of accent pillows for my husband's teaching room at home which we re-furnished this passed weekend (he has not yet see them yet, and now sitting in my studio in school waiting for him to join me for lunch as soon as he finish his first teaching part of the day. My upper body is still like a stone, and it aches horribly, but hey, I am still alive and well. Let the horrible day be a reminder for myself to continue to drive safely, and to watch out for stupid drivers MORE, and to enjoy my life FULLY!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At least now, I am happy to inform you all that my cat has done its duty gloriously probably during the night. He has killed the mouse... From the look of the site, he might have tortured the poor little thing before killing it. He has the look of triumph this morning as he watched me cleaning up the site. As far as the concert went, we (my husband and I) listened to the recording from it, and declared that the noisy audience and the finger slamming piano cover did not effect the concert much after all. I had just purchased a set of accent pillows for my husband's teaching room at home which we re-furnished this passed weekend (he has not yet see them yet, and now sitting in my studio in school waiting for him to join me for lunch as soon as he finish his first teaching part of the day. My upper body is still like a stone, and it aches horribly, but hey, I am still alive and well. Let the horrible day be a reminder for myself to continue to drive safely, and to watch out for stupid drivers MORE, and to enjoy my life FULLY!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is the result I got from the personality test:
 You are happy, driven, and status conscious. You want everyone to know how successful you are. Very logical, you see life as a game of strategy. A bit of a loner, you prefer to depend on yourself. You always keep your cool and your composure. You are a born leader and business person. |
Thursday, August 04, 2005
The Moonstone
I have finished reading "The Moonstone" by Wilkie Collins. What a great read. I have read many western classics in Chinese when I was younger. I have the luxury to reread them now in English. Very different experience.
By the way, Beethoven Emperor with Shippensburg Festival Orchestra (July 23rd) went ok. Unfortunately the first bassoon player and a few other orchestra players were caught in the traffic, that I had to play without some important orchestra parts. People seem to receive the whole experience warmly.
Mom & Dad had a great stay here for the past 2 weeks. Good food, lots of talk (which is rare for my family tradition), chaotic though. Little cousin, Ann, and her friend are here for summer English intensive course at the Georgetown University. I do have to say, do kids now a day only like Shopping??!!! Nothing else seems to drawn their attention. It is a strange world for me!
By the way, Beethoven Emperor with Shippensburg Festival Orchestra (July 23rd) went ok. Unfortunately the first bassoon player and a few other orchestra players were caught in the traffic, that I had to play without some important orchestra parts. People seem to receive the whole experience warmly.
Mom & Dad had a great stay here for the past 2 weeks. Good food, lots of talk (which is rare for my family tradition), chaotic though. Little cousin, Ann, and her friend are here for summer English intensive course at the Georgetown University. I do have to say, do kids now a day only like Shopping??!!! Nothing else seems to drawn their attention. It is a strange world for me!
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